“All children mythologise their birth. It is a universal trait. You want
to know someone? Heart, mind and soul? Ask him to tell you about when
he was born. What you get won’t be the truth: it will be a story. And
nothing is more telling than a story. ”
―
Diane Setterfield,
The Thirteenth Tale
A single cell.
Just a single cell was from where I evolved. Taking in all nourishment available around me, I multiplied and started becoming a mass of cells, more appropriately a ball of cells. I kept travelling aimlessly for sometime, bouncing and enjoying! Enjoying my complete freedom until I came into a place where my movement was sort of restrained. I felt like I was tied and hooked up to something by a cord of some sort.
With the sudden ceasation of freedom, I began wondering what was happening. I was hungry. I had a hard time breathing. I felt frustrated. Suddenly, through the weird cord which restricted my mobility, came my food and my oxygen! All the nourishment and air I craved for came in. I experienced for the first time, the satisfaction of hunger. It was just great! I was grateful for my meal and the air as well. The anger of being tied was completely replaced by gratitude. After all, I'm a human! What do you expect?!
Tiny little thing I was, satisfied hunger made me feel sleepy! Grateful that I can go through the night safely (given that I was under reliable caretaker) I fell asleep. The same course of things happened day after day and I really began to like that cord very much! I didn't really care about my mobility as well for I discovered that there was so much place to move around even with being attached to that cord.
Days passed by, my body was taking a definite shape rather than the mass of cells it was before. I noticed my tiny little heart forming. And slowly beating! On a fine day, I just felt, the bearer of the cord or rather my host, was way too happy! The vibes of happiness were just spreading out everywhere! That happiness! Oh my, though I had no clue about the reason of it, it made me immensely happy!
Days passed by in the same way. Rather months. I no longer cared about moving. I had this protective cord and also a weird fluid of some kind around me taking care of all my needs and safety without any actual conversation or explanation. I felt like I was in a protective bubble! And also, I felt so tired all the time! There were so many things being processed in my tiny body. Metabolism was so high and all the energy being produced was being utilised for the internal repairs and building. I just slept and slept in the safe shelter.
I kept hearing voices from outside but I exactly wasn't able to comprehend what they meant because I was mostly feeling drowsy and sleepy, so basically there wasn't really any scope of concentrating. But one day, I did try to concentrate out of curiosity, I found out that the host and also another thing, a living one, were really eager for my arrival and were talking something else in a low voice. In an attempt to concentrate more, I jerked. The host and also the other organism, were immensely happy again! I was shocked! I didn't really understand why my movement made them happy? And I was also happy, cause they were. And yet again, like always, I started feeling drowsy, rather extra drowsy due to the additional strain of concentration. And I slept.
Anyway, my body was taking a more definitive shape like that of a human, limbs were formed. Lungs were there (I think, don't know for sure). I felt the place was getting smaller or maybe I was growing.
Even now, I still do nothing but sleep. And out of nowhere, I kept having dreams about my previous lifetime as a dog. The sins I committed in that lifetime. The punishments I had to go through for the committal of those sins before I landed up here. I was horrified of them all. I experienced true fear for the first time. (One of the many first times I experienced here). They were like a warning sign for this life. Thoroughly shaken tiny little thing I was, I decided and swore honestly that I wouldn't commit any sins in this lifetime and lead a righteous life. The feeling of that absolute fear was somehow removed, well not completely, but a part, by my wonderful protective host through its vibes of bliss ( I really don't know why was it feeling happy? )
I spent everyday sleeping. I was literally big. And I kept moving in the place for it was really getting smaller for me. I still kept adjusting, afraid to lose my shelter.
But then came a day, where I could no longer hold on. No longer breathe. I kicked the walls of the host. I pulled myself away from the protective cord, I felt suffocated. I needed space. I needed proper oxygen. I just needed to get away from there, from my protective shelter. A pang of sadness cruised through the whole of my body recollecting all the ways it had supported and protected me. My mind had a message coming from a superior source which said, "I'm taking away all offers your memory about your previous life now, you're on your own in this one. An individual owner of your life. You will go through the same trouble on committal of sins. Lead a real righteous life. You will have caretakers of you and needless to say, I will be there whenever you need me. Just take my name. And this too shall be erased once you are out of this shelter of warmth."
That was like the last nail on the coffin. Now I just didn't want to leave the place. I tried my best you adjust, but my growing body no longer seemed to cooperate. I kicked the walls more frantically. I wanted to stay, I wanted to leave. I was just really exasperated. There was this continual push rather a forceful thrust from the upper side, just pushing me out out of a narrow tube. It was horrible. There was no place to move, no air to breathe. Just horrible.
The force still didn't stop. The thrust. And I felt different all of a sudden! My head, was exposed to air, ACTUAL AIR! I was amazed (another first time!). Such a strange feeling. I forgot everything around me! I was just concentrating on that part of exposure wondering how would the feeling be when I wholly am exposed. The force was still there. But now, it felt like the ultimate one. I was pushed out. Thoroughly and completely. I was out in the world. Like He said, my memory inside the host was slowly being erased. And wow! I could actually breathe in my own!
Once I was out, I started crying, really loud, to clear my wind pipe. I'm on my own, so yeah! I should take care of me, right?!
I was wrapped in a little blanket, a pair of hands were first holding me and then I shifted to another pair. His hands were warm and protective. There was pure unadulterated bliss on his face. He was My dad. One caretaker. And then he transferred me to another pair of hands, to a person, a female, lying on the bed beaming with joy. My mom. Another caretaker. Done. With this realisation, my dreams inside were completely washed away!
I realised she was the host I survived in, in all these months! The umbilical cord gave me my needs from her. And now it was cut.
I'm officially on my own now. I felt different. I felt scared on being left on my own for the first time since months of my existence. But I had my parents, my caretakers. My life as a human, is beginning!
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
Well, I obviously am looking forward to my new life and the reason "why". And yes, needless to say. This is my story! :)
