"Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit"
Love, this four letter word has such a magnificent impact on you. In nowadays style of perception, love mostly means a mere sense of attraction between a girl and a boy. I'm sorry to have disappointed you, but what I'm writing about isn't about that. Love in my view is a strong bond of affection between two people maybe a mother and her child or two friends or between siblings and so many more types; They care, protect, respect and are wholly devoted to the other person. Sometimes, the best best gift you can ever receive or give anyone is love in its pure form. And when you are lucky enough to receive that gift, you obviously want more of that, for it is the most heartwarming. However, life isn't so easy, sometimes those very individuals who have gifted you that may brutally be pulled away from you. This I write, as a remembrance of all the love I cherish receiving and all the love I regret losing. All the memories I cherish making and all the memories I nostalgically regret remembering.
Lost relations. Reminiscent nostalgia.
"Everyone has a story"
Yep everyone does. I think one of the saddest things is when two people, for namesake say two best friends, really get to know each other; their secrets, their fears, their favourite things, what they love, what they hate, literally everything, and then they go back to being strangers. It's like you have to walk past them and pretend like you never knew them, never talked to them before, when really, you know almost everything about them and you want to do everything but that.
Consider yourself in their roles, how would you feel? Won't you feel devastated? And when you actually know the reason of the distance but there is nothing you can do, the regret of losing something wonderful for something which is mythical, hypothetical, unreal or unworthy really breaks you apart, doesn't it?
Rather it scars you, your mind, your heart and your soul.
The feeling of, "How I wish identified that then! Then all these problems would've never been there and now I'd have been happily sitting here talking with that very person I miss." Somehow, with time, you cure yourself and your heart of all those painful thoughts and memories. And you try to move on. And you're happy. You try to forget all the bitter memories and start making nice new ones. And you know you're better.
With time you move on completely, and now you know you are yourself again but, in a different way, more stronger and more independent. It's likes you're back with a vengeance. And you're now infectiously happy.
But on those nights where you're thoroughly happy and contented and you're enjoying in your own world of solitude, the small specks of flashes called memories arise to the surface from the Mariana Trench of your brain. It is maybe during these times you know what their absence actually means. A small thought, "How much happier would I be if that very person I miss, that person without whom my day wouldn't pass, was here with me like the same old two people we used to be; sharing things, laughing, teasing, loving each other like the way we used to without any unknown distance", obviously eats you.
No matter how much you tell people that you've moved on, on those awful and unexpected days, you know that you didn't, and those memories kill you! You haven't really moved on, but you accepted the fact and started to live with it. You've just buried those specks in an unfathomable depth. And there will definitely be days where you will miss them, like crazy, for you're what? After all a human with emotions! So much for emotions.
"No person is ever replaced. You just create more room for new people", told by my friend. It is one of the only statements I completely agree with, without any contradiction. Every person you've been acquainted with, will occupy his place in the lid less vessel of your memory. If a random acquaintance is capable of that, what is a person with whom you've been close to for most of your life, capable of? Forgetting them and the associated flashes isn't easy, is it?
It is like a herculean task. And yet we can't be sure of its success. But this is reality and there is no option but to adjust and live with it.
Maybe after one of those awful nights you try to bridge the gap, but somehow even though you're ready, the person might not be. You want to share, laugh and tease about and be the same old people you were but you don't really know what would happen because the scars are made and you just don't know how much time it would take for them to heal.
Quite frankly, you're left with no choice but to move on and try to be happy rather than be sad moaning about things you can't change. For this is life and it definitely doesn't offer an undo button no matter how much you wish it had. And trying to be happy isn't a sin; rather it is a boon you're gifting yourself.
For all we know, the happy moments today are the sad ones tomorrow. Reminiscent nostalgia is all you feel about those lost relations.
Death, egos, distances, misunderstandings, love in the name of "more", procrastinating, oh the list is endless! If only there were no such things, how much simpler life would be?! Hard, emotional, complicated human life! Sigh!
P.S -
1. To everyone who has read this and felt there was/is some familiar situation in your life too, I'd like to say only one thing, "Nobody gets through life with our losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be. People don't live forever. Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you. You'll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you. And remember, just because something doesn't last forever, doesn't mean it wasn't worth your while"
2. To the lucky few who have patched up after your rough phase, you guys really are lucky!
3. The style of writing maybe cliché, but I somehow had to put out my musings.
